When I speak to others about things that really matter, certain eyes shine brighter than others. These are the ones who have endured more than their fair share of difficulties. They are recovering alcoholics, divorcees or parents who have buried a child. They have suffered deprivation and illness. They have been forced to admit that they are not in control. And as it turns out, it is the things we fear most that carry the capacity to become catalysts for what we most value: the deepest appreciation of life, the unspeakable grace of a heart broken open.
When we allow hardship and suffering to do their work over time, the ripened spirit bursts forth to inhabit one’s naturally abundant world. One realizes at last how little rather than how much one truly needs to be fulfilled. One needs fewer engagements, opportunities, even other people. One can finally stop and simply take one deep, satisfying breath after another. One feels herself no longer to be who she used to be—not even Somebody—discovering that this is perfectly fine. The experience of the more that we pursued turns out to be right here, right now with nothing else one must do or be.
But suffering is neither a guarantee nor a prescription for fulfillment. Even the losses associated with aging may not result in the spiritual ripening and psychological maturity to which we aspire. In fact, one is just as likely to become hard and bitter—one’s soul shriveling up like a withered apple—should one refuse the invitation hardship issues to become vulnerable rather than redouble efforts to bolster reinforcement. But some degree of suffering does seem to be a prerequisite for transformation. And since suffering comes to us all, we are all candidates.
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