The Paradox of Age
Post One of the 9-part Old Souls Study Guide, which is inspired by reader’s guide models for personal reflection and for book club discussions. To have study guide posts delivered directly to your inbox on a monthly basis, join my mailing list HERE.
This Month’s Reflection
“Aging is a time full of irony. We find ourselves brimming with unexpected passion, but frequently lack the energy to see things through. We experience ourselves to be at the peak of our knowledge and abilities, only to realize that we are masters of a world that no longer exists. …We’re often uncertain how much more we can bear. And yet, we pray with every fiber of our being for more.”
Older, Wiser, Fiercer, “What is Age” pp. 6-7
Questions for Journaling or Discussion
1. What have you mastered in the past that no longer exists for you? How do you feel about this?
2. How do you tend to adapt to change? Is it getting harder or easier as you age?
3. What surprises you about aging? What are some of the shocks as well as some of the unexpected delights?
4. Do you tend to prefer serenity or passion? How does this preference enhance your life? What, if any, are the limitations?
Carol’s Commentary
At first encounter, the paradoxes of age are painful. That is because we have been socialized to value only the part of us that wants to be strong, certain and powerful. But in truth, the paradoxes have been with us all our lives and while confessing to them may feel unsettling, it is also what makes us whole.
It takes time to cultivate an appreciation for that which keeps us simple and grounded. This doesn’t mean that you can’t tap into that part of you that can be counted upon to rise to the occasion but it takes that much more honesty to take into consideration the fact that there are parts of yourself that are requiring more time and attention than they used to. It also takes that much more faith to honor the demands of this age and stage of life to both make the necessary sacrifices and reap the unexpected rewards.
A Spiritual Aging Exercise
To find the cutting edge of your own growth, and to assist in your discernment, try this exercise.
1. Recall a time in your life when you experienced yourself to be at the peak of your knowledge and abilities. Come up with 4 or five adjectives to describe the feeling? Ie competent, proud, powerful.
2. Now revisit your list of adjectives, changing each to its opposite., ie competent becomes incompetent, proud becomes disappointed, powerful becomes powerlessness.
3. Consider the possibility that who you really are has never been only the character traits you deem as desirable but equally that which you’ve been struggling to avoid, as well. Complete every pair of opposites by connecting them with the word “and” in this sentence: “Sometimes I am (adjective from list 1) and sometimes I am (opposite adjective from list 2.)” For instance: “Sometimes I am proud and sometimes I am disappointed.”
One of the greatest gifts of older age is the growth of your capacity to embrace the larger truth about yourself and hold the whole of who you are with compassion. And then, prepare to be pleasantly surprised.
Next Post
In Post Two of the Old Souls Study Guide we turn our attention to deepening our relationship to the pain associated with age-related losses.
If you would like to read ahead, we will be reflecting upon the sections “A Private Pleasure” and “Beyond Power” in Older, Wiser, Fiercer,, pp. 8-13
