It wasn’t that long ago that I would lie in bed in the morning and make lists in my head. Sometimes they were shopping lists. Often, they were to do lists–tasks and chores. But usually, the list of the day comprised an inventory of my worries, culminating in my transition beyond midlife to feelings of rejection and concerns about the future .
Then one day, as I lay there ruminating, I stopped myself in my tracks. “This is just an old, outgrown habit”, a most unexpected but welcome voice of wisdom chimed in. “You don’t need to do this any more.”
It’s true. When we are younger, those first moments of the morning might be the only time of the day in which we could do more than react to the day’s events as they unfolded. In a minute or two, the tumult of the day would have been about to descend–in the form of young children needing to be tended to, getting ready for the commute to work, thinking ahead to what we’d need for dinner and so on.
Of course, there were also mornings of joy. Joy because something wonderful was going to happen that day–a trip, a birthday, a graduation. And rarest but most precious of all, there were those days when I would experience joy for no apparent reason whatsoever. Back then, I couldn’t “make” those joyful mornings happen. I could only relish them when they arose and hope for another.
But here I am, at 66, hearing wise voices and recognizing that joy no longer has to be just a hope. It can, at last, be a choice.
And then I got it. I need a new kind of list. A non-contingent joy list: what I can look forward to today that will fill my heart with happiness that is not about external events or affirmation. So, here it is:
Today’s Top 7 Joy List
1. Giving Dan a longer good morning hug than usual
2. Throwing a warm coat over my pajamas and going out with Lucky to sit by the river
3. Visiting the “Y” for an invigorating session of Zumba Gold
4. Reading something just for fun–maybe start a new novel
5. Emailing a friend I’ve been missing to arrange a time to talk
6. Searching for something special to do with my grandson Mason next time we’re together
7. Writing this blog
What’s your Top 7 Joy List for today?
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