What is age to those of us living it?  Having crossed the threshold into my seventies, I am filled with equal portions of wonder and dread.  The young cannot possibly fathom what it means to live with one’s cheek pressed hard against the shadows. Earlier in our lives, we had expected either to continue on […]

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Aging cedes territory on a daily basis.  Every day we are somewhat weaker, somewhat slower, somewhat less connected.  The only thing that comprises “more” for us is the effort it now takes to try to maintain what came to us so effortlessly just moments ago. The slippage is often so slow and slight, we become […]

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Sometimes I am grateful for all the years of my life, believing that they have grown me strong.  Other times, I wear them as gravity, weighing me down: everything sinking. On these days, upon awakening, I can feel I haven’t rested enough.  Even without a mirror nearby, I can sense it: perhaps not as a […]

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Our generation did everything in our power to gain control over our circumstances, individual as well as societal.  Is this true of every generation? If so, the old have been, are and will always be doomed to failure.  But failure, as it turns out, can provide rich ground for surprises. I am freshly exposed at […]

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When I was young, my sails often filled with air. Even now, some days are effortless as I race across the surface of the hours overflowing with more life than I know what to do with.  Other days, I pull at the ropes hoping to catch just enough wind to keep moving forward:  just engaged, […]

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I went to the neighborhood senior center for my usual work out.  I am continually amazed both that I am old enough to be allowed into such a place—and humbled by how much better the eighty-year-olds can be than me at reaching the floor with their palms and balancing on one leg. But today when […]

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When I was younger, I did not think it possible to embrace a deficit that could not be corrected, a problem that could not be solved, a loss that could not be overcome.  God knows, I attempted everything.  For long stretches, I kept my eyes so focused on the goal, I inadvertently blinded myself to […]

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Three women, late eighties, sit side by side at open windows.  Behind each are institutionalized bustle and the faint scent of antiseptic.  Outside, there are trees and a garden and a light spring breeze. Each sits perfectly still and any differences between them are not apparent.  But one has achieved something wonderful.  She is content. […]

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We who are older, wiser, fiercer have moments when we experience ourselves to be merged with the divine—where we know we are capable of acting in concord with God’s will for us. In the moment, we know we are good and that life is inherently meaningful. But it doesn’t stick. It’s easier when we are […]

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Not long ago, after recovering from the flu, there was a happy ghost wandering through the hallways of our little cottage on the river.  She paused at a hand-made miniature house made from clay, remembering when her son had gifted her with it years ago.  There was her special collection of teas and shelf full […]

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