Our generation did everything in our power to gain control over our circumstances, individual as well as societal. Is this true of every generation? If so, the old have been, are and will always be doomed to failure. But failure, as it turns out, can provide rich ground for surprises.
I am freshly exposed at this new age and stage of life to be as vulnerable as a child who has lost her innocence. The child, growing through adolescence into adulthood, has ample time to try on various personas offering protective cover, until she finds one that fits well enough.
I remember the relief I once felt when I figured out who and how I could be that would cause the least friction with others. This well-honed persona was one that allowed me maximum room to nurture if not the whole, at least the core, of the seed of my authentic self.
Now that I am old, the seed has taken over. I have gone all in on who I really am, availing myself anew to self-exposure. The persona is no longer functioning as I once hoped it would—offering the cover of protection as part of an on-going, diligent work in progress. But this time my response to self-exposure is different: a growing bolder rather than shrinking back. I am not being careful anymore. I am growing wild.
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