Today, all is simple and clear—as if there were never any confusion nor complexity regarding God, meaning or the nature of life. Of course, it’s easier to feel close to God on days like today, warmed to perfection by a light spring breeze, nothing particularly wrong or unpleasant. The dogs are draped on chaise lounges, deck chairs and one dog—Lucky—is once again sitting in stiff attention at the base of a tree: squirrel watch.
Sammy’s head is resting on my lap. Sammy, our sweet Maltese whose owner passed on and the children wouldn’t keep him. He was found by a local dog sanctuary wandering on a highway and by God’s grace, found his way to our home. At 13, Sammy is missing teeth, so he nuzzles morsels from our hands. When we first saw him, he was scruffy, with bare patches and a crooked tail. He’s looking better now that he’s benefited from good nutrition, professional grooming and a lot of petting. Through everything he’s endured, he has not forgotten love nor gratitude. After a first night shaking in our laps he now runs outdoors with the other dogs, lines up for treats and wags his crooked tail when we re-enter a room.
He came to us with no more history than I’ve described, but we are learning gradually that not only is he a loving dog, but somewhere along the line, he must also have been well-loved. When he wants something, he knows that his vocal demand is likely to be heeded, but to stifle his bark so as to not unduly disturb. The sound emits like a huff—firm but respectful. By means of huffing, he commandeered a place on our bed with the others so that I now sleep with right leg crooked around Molly, Lucky is between Dan and I at one of my ears, and Sammy is at the other.
All night long I feel him whispering his secrets to me. One can hardly imagine—does not want to—the terror of being cast out, an 8 pound lap dog left to fight for his life in a world that can be as cruel and unfair as it can be gracious and loving.
Sammy’s whispers are still with me—I have brought them to this blessed day, in which uniting with God seems so simple. This is what I hear. “If God is one, then God is in everything, everywhere. God must be as much in the things that sadden, anger and disappoint us as God is in the good. But what kind of God is this who is present in both shadow and light?”
Today, the answer is simple and clear. For where are faith, mercy and forgiveness found but in the shadows? God is not the source of evil, but surely, God is with us in our responses to those things that cause us pain, anger and sorrow. Even after all these years seeking God, it has barely been enough time to process a God this great, who overlooks nothing, offering grace to all.
But small is the exact place to which I have been called, myself but a stray who has exhausted every other possible option, only to find herself whispering in God’s ear “How great the mystery. How great the love.”
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