I woke up this morning and the mirror was not friendly. There was an old woman staring back at me. So I pulled out every jar, stick and tube and applied every trick in the book. Ah hah! I said when I was done. And there she was, an old woman wearing make-up.
I know, I thought to myself. What I need is a wonderful hat. So I rummaged through the closet and found an old favorite to put on. Ah hah! I said when I had positioned it at a jaunty angle. And now there was an old woman wearing a great hat.
Over the next few minutes, there was much rummaging and adjusting and soon there was an old woman wearing sunglasses and a signature scarf. A final brush of powder. And finally, I was done. I searched the mirror for a friendlier result. But with all the layers and manipulations, nothing had altered the truth of the matter. I am a woman. I am old. And I was out of tricks.
But I was not out of choices. I could choose to continue to fret, regretting the loss of my youthful looks. Or I could choose to think of myself as beautiful for my age. Or—and this one was new—I could take it all in, have a good laugh, then get on with it.
The minute this third option crossed my mind, my face changed completely. I no longer searched for a particular blush of beauty in the reflection, but rather, I saw everything I had ever been, could or will be: the good, the bad, the beautiful, the ugly, everything in between and something beyond it all and breathing in every single bit of it, I was taken aback. This face was not only hard-worn but hard-won, so in less time than it had taken to put it all on, most of it came right off and the bit that remained was just right.
I turned away from the suddenly friendly mirror, no longer fighting growing old—nor accepting it. I was just me again. And isn’t that what I’d been searching for all along?
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Carol Orsborn, Ph.D., is Founder of Fierce with Age, the free monthly Digest of Boomer Wisdom, Inspiration and Spirituality. Carol, who earned her doctorate in the history and critical theory of religion specializing in adult and spiritual development from Vanderbilt University, is the best-selling author of 30 books, including The Spirituality of Age: A Seeker’s Guide to Growing Older (co-author Dr. Robert L. Weber), winner of gold in the category of Consciously Aging, Nautilus Book Awards 2015. Carol’s blog Older, Wiser, Fiercer is available at CarolOrsborn.com.
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