Lucky has finally submitted to the seasonal indignity of donning her red down dog coat.   We’d thought that when the temperatures plummeted the squirrels would disappear and she would lose interest in running outside.  But while it is true there isn’t the frantic activity that accompanied late fall, the bared branches have revealed the secret […]

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When I speak to others about things that really matter, certain eyes shine brighter than others. These are the ones who have endured more than their fair share of difficulties.  They are recovering alcoholics, divorcees or parents who have buried a child.  They have suffered deprivation and illness. They have been forced to admit that […]

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Asking for mercy is a brave act, for one must first admit that one has done wrong and is, devoid of intervention, helpless to do anything more about it. And while if being granted mercy does ameliorate the pain of the shortcoming, it doesn’t erase everything.  We live into the future, neither cleansed nor forgetful, […]

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Now that the external demands on me have receded and my inner universe has become my life work, I am plummeting through layers of protection, like it or not.  Some days, I do not feel this as progress, although surely it is, but as falling apart. Fatigue can be close to the surface on these […]

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Perhaps because my dear friend is leaving to live near her daughter in Paris, all of my senses are honed to a point of pain.  I spot one of her favorite umbrellas poking out of a box waiting to be taped shut. I will never see it again. The life in me rises up in protest, […]

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I am many things today that I wasn’t even a couple of months let alone years ago. I am wiser, more self-nurturing.  I understand more about what it means to love and be loved, and how to tender compassion without strings attached. And yet, on any given day, I may also be devastated at some […]

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As we become older, wiser and fiercer, we learn to accept that even in our awakened state, we are still not calling the shots. This turns out to be a good thing. Only by admitting to the crumbling of the illusion of our mastery and taking into account what we now know to be the […]

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For nearly the entire decade of midlife, we are unsure how much time and energy to invest in keeping our looks youthful, our bodies supple, our world expanding.  And when it is early enough to believe we still have even the slightest chance of succeeding at it, we try, then over time, try harder yet […]

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One of the greatest gifts of growing older is that we can grow to become not nearly as fascinated with our original wounds as we used to be.  It’s not that we don’t sometimes feel we weren’t loved the way we deserved. But by now, we’ve run this story line so many times, it’s become […]

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