When I was younger, I did not think it possible to embrace a deficit that could not be corrected, a problem that could not be solved, a loss that could not be overcome.  God knows, I attempted everything.  For long stretches, I kept my eyes so focused on the goal, I inadvertently blinded myself to […]

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Three women, late eighties, sit side by side at open windows.  Behind each are institutionalized bustle and the faint scent of antiseptic.  Outside, there are trees and a garden and a light spring breeze. Each sits perfectly still and any differences between them are not apparent.  But one has achieved something wonderful.  She is content. […]

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We who are older, wiser, fiercer have moments when we experience ourselves to be merged with the divine—where we know we are capable of acting in concord with God’s will for us. In the moment, we know we are good and that life is inherently meaningful. But it doesn’t stick. It’s easier when we are […]

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Not long ago, after recovering from the flu, there was a happy ghost wandering through the hallways of our little cottage on the river.  She paused at a hand-made miniature house made from clay, remembering when her son had gifted her with it years ago.  There was her special collection of teas and shelf full […]

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For once, or perhaps finally, the facts of my life seem beside the point. Yes, the disagreement with a good friend that consumed most of a week turned out to be a simple miscommunication. But one hard-won act of reclamation cannot alone compensate for all the losses that just yesterday bedeviled me. Objectively, whole worlds […]

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Even towards the end of her life, my mother and I still didn’t agree on a whole lot.  For example, I would have preferred she convince Dad to keep their downtown condo with the awesome view, but they opted for a gated adult community in the suburbs.  So okay. Their choice.  But one thing Mom […]

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I confess to my shortcomings.  In fact, in the still hours before dawn, confession is what comes easiest to me.  But when I tell the whole truth about myself, I must admit to the good things, too.  This does not take place in a flash of recognition, but by grindingly slow evolution. It has taken […]

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Born in the ebullient wake of World War II, our generation largely bought into the narrative that our country was a beacon of light standing up to evil, and that goodness had and would always in the end prevail.  I confess that I so believed in our cohort’s commitment to love and justice, I was […]

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I was raised to believe that sadness is wallowing, anger uncalled for and fear self-indulgent. In its place, we picked ourselves up by our bootstraps and marched ourselves to the front lines every day in every way, in command and in control. At the same time, I always carried the suspicion that there could be […]

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At first, it is a shock to be marginalized from others’ lives, to discover that our children have grown up to live on their own and that society has somehow gone on, for better or worse, without us in the lead.  Later, it comes as another jolt to realize those times when we may no […]

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